Funke returns to blogsville!!!

First of all let me wish you all a Happy New Year woohoo yaaay!!!! Hehehe I know it’s already mid-year and I’ve been completely lazy with this blog but then I’ve been super busy with life so no vex abeg. Hope everyone is well though? Nothing special to write mehn just bored, it’s almost 2am plus sleep has disappeared, that nap was a bad idea.
Last time I wrote on here was last year after my undergrad and the many weddings  *2012 was amazing*. So what am I up to these days? Well I started my Masters degree in Pharmacology last year September and I’ll be done with that in 4months mehn time flew lol but I can’t wait to be done coz I don tire. I have to admit though, I’m doing pretty well and I enjoy the course. I’m also a lot more serious, I don’t know if that’s due to maturity or the fact that I had to fork out a painful £5000 tuition fees kaii. That’s my academic life in a nutshell, such fun!!
A year older (April baby) and much wiser, on the personal front erm nothing to say really.  Single life is beaurriful (-__-) lmaoo!!! Ok honestly it’s not bad, I’m just too damn busy for anything else. No worries though, at least I’m not being  pressured to bring home a boyfriend, not yet anyways, lol yesterday my aunt expressed her shock at my singleness  LMAO she said “ehn you berra shine your eyes well well” mehn I could only laugh. I need a new set of eye candy coz God knows I cannot deal with Notts guys and their ultraskinny jeans swag with Alladin shoes, please invest in a mirror.

My social life needs an upgrade, can’t even remember the last time I partayyed SMH is this life? Ehn at this age I still haven’t been on holiday lol can you imagine? … *2 weeks in naija 3 years ago does not count jor abeg*. I need a break badly, been thinking of sneaking to Paris briefly, one of these days but I don’t think Mama Funke will approve. What your mum don’t know won’t kill her sha 😉
Anyways I made some new friends on the MSc program. Amazing people, they made going to Uni interesting and motivating so I hope we keep in touch and they are defo invited to my wedding 😀 looool whenever that is. Finally got my drivers license yaaay, buying a car soon with a budget of £600 lmaoo, it seems impossible so I might have to settle with a Ford KA that looks like a toddler’s shoe, for now at least until I can afford that Bentley 😉
Soooo that’s pretty much all I’ve been up to lately, MSc dominates at the moment but I see light at the end of the tunnel. I’m grateful to God for everything. Sleep is still not here but I’m tired of typing so ciao guys. I will try to blog more, no promises lol.

…I Just Wanna Get Married!!!

Meet me at the altar in your white dress
We ain’t gettin no younger we might as well do it
Been feelin’ you all the while girl I must confess
Girl let’s just get married I just want to get married

***singing*** Jagged Edge – Lets Get married

Hmmm its just a song oo Ok so you may feel misled by the title of this post but just assume I’m selling you insurance, you know how those people will go through any length to get your attention. At least something is true about the title of this post, WEDDINGS, ooh la la I’ve caught the wedding bug and I izz Feeling IT. Last month was very eventful and expensive kaii, the bank balance is not smiling at the moment.

First there was my graduation ceremony, yes ladies and gents I’m a GRADUATE *pakurumo-ing*. The results eve was one of the craziest night of my life, my housemate and I couldn’t handle the anxiety so we went to a nearby park and went on the swings lol, constantly checking if the results had been updated from OluwaTat’s phone. My heart was doing 500mph mehnn but it didn’t get updated till about 4am. I got a PING from OluwaTats saying the results are out, to be honest i thought it was one of her stupid pranks that she’d been playing all day but I checked for the result online regardless and OMG it was on :O. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that elated feeling like phew, we both ran out and met each other halfway screaming , literally, in our panties pahahaha :D. The grad ceremony was live sha and the best thing about that day was the proud look across my parents face that said “yehhh our coital product is a now Graduate”, thank God mehn. That’s only half the journey, MSc next by God’s grace.

Two weeks after grad came one of my friends wedding, had to travel to Grimsby (sounds like a place in a fairytale lol). The wedding was absolutely beautiful as in, my girl was looking on point oh and her dress BANGINGGG, even made one of my other friends cry and yours truly teary-eyed lol. Every wedding I’ve ever been to were all with my parents so this particular was even more special because it was just myself and some friends. The whole time I was planning in my head what my wedding would be like but only for basic things coz wedding is not on the agenda yet oo incase my family members are reading this and accusing me like this:

Soon I’d be going to wedding every weekend but first I need to make more girlfriends coz my social circle is kinda lacking at the moment. More weddings coming up, cousin this month and a family friend next month….ooh can’t wait. So now that grad is over and masters isn’t too far off, I suppose it’s time I start concocting my own life plan but mehrr can’t be bothered. Stole this hilariousnessness off a friend’s BBm display picture and it made me laugh so hard, maybe because I can relate to it.

Ok just thought i should update something since it’s been ages and it turns out to be this long essay, sorry mehnn I talk a lot. Oh well time to take a trip to the village to visit the family, it’s long overdue.

Enjoy your week

Hayam FREEEEEEE!!!

HOLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAA WAZZZAAAAAAAP WOOOHOOOO!!!!  I hope u can sense the excitement I’m feeling right now ……. (I’ll give you a minute to feel it if you haven’t) pahahaha the schweeet smell of FREEDOM!!!

Ok I’m normal now. Hi guys, hope you’re all doing fine. I’m writing this from my parent’s house in the Hamptons (loool not the real Hamptons oo) so yes yes exams are  OVER (WhippingMaHurr) so hayam free, hayam happy and hayam so overjoyed I could sing opera. I have resumed Youtube duty lool we rekindled our love, *ooh la la baby smooch smooch*, and the world has been a better place ever since 😀 and I even found a funny video that sums up uni life.

Revision took over my life, if you see what I look like right now, you’d either laugh at me or cry for me lol, I still haven’t de-tramped.

hahahaha, Lord help me ooo!!

My hair is its most shambolic state, so embarrassing *sigh*. Anyways it’s done now and I’m thankful to God and I pray my results are el fantastico. These past three years have been the greatest life teacher of all. I’ve learnt a lot about myself and others in the “real world”. There’s a lot they don’t tell you about university until you get there and experience it all for yourself, definitely an eye opener.

My advice is simple, look before you leap and don’t loose yourself, and that applies to every little thing you do.

So now that I’m a free bird, came to check up on the family briefly before I run back to my city because it takes me only two days to get irritated with this town. I did miss my family though, they are funny. The whole exam period, I was gassing about how much I’m going to have fun, YOLO like crazy and party hard but like the true granny that I am, all I’ve done is watch TV, Youtube and Instagram (fadekemz, follow ya girl) day and night hahaha, so much for YOLO. I have a couple of interesting things lined up though and I’ll give you a gist of  the gistable ones 😉 .

Later guys, I’ll try to post more entries since I have plenty of free time (emphasis on TRY). Have a lovely weekend and party hard woohoo!!!

Keep pakurumo-ing

Deuces

PS: YOLO means You Only Live Once and it’s pretty much an excuse or an extra push you need if you want to do something out of your comfort zone, not an excuse to go crazy though lol

EXAMSSSS why oh whyyy, ehn???

WAZZZAAAAPPPPP guys 😀 ??? So I haven’t been on here for a while lol tut tut flopping already but to be honest this is the longest I have ever stuck to any new years resolution so yaay 😛 *patting myself on the back*

There are so many things going on right now as in my mind is just all over the place. Exams starts in eleven days aarrghhh and  I am not prepared, at all.

It was my birthday last month, (April 23rd) yes yes I can legally drink alcohol in America now ;). I didn’t really do anything OTT due to uni commitments, just spent it with few friends (maybe I’ll put some pics up later, MAYBE oo). It was fun to a point but obviously I wish I could have gone out parrying but all the same I enjoyed it.

EXAMSSSS aaah why do they exist??? Jheeze there is so much to learn and my motivation level is borderline 0%. Makes me question my dedication as in WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO mehnn???. This are my last set of exams and graduation is only couple of months away so why am I slacking this much??*sigh*

My attention span is almost shorter than a goldfish’ memory, I just can’t seem to retain anything in my head.I read one past question from my Immunology and Virology module, and panic-mode got activated, it looked like a completely different language *thumbs down* and the lecturer only sent us one past paper ¬_¬ kmttt yeye person

I’ve been going to few revision lectures and out of four modules, only one lecturer took pity on us and kinda sorta hinted the questions to expect, the others have been so stingy chai  this people are not nice oo. May 25th cannot come quick enough, I will do the dougie-alantaWhipMaHurrBack’n’Forth-azonto-pakurumo all at once, out of that our campus.

All the same, I’m thankful that God brought me this far so maybe I should stop complaining like a sule. To you guys in a similar situation, I wish you all the best; STUDY HARD & PART-AYYY HARDER (afterwards obviously 😉 lool)

Keep Pakurumo-ing

Deuces

Mini Rantologisation

I’m not sure this post title is a word but I think it should be. I wanna ranttt get briefly, it has been a very very horribly week aah I cannot wait to graduate, I think I’m tired of education.
Thirteen courseworks for what reason, and I heard some people only have like 6 courseworks and one exam uuurrrgh they better. leave uni with a first degree. It gets me so angry. So I just met my supervisor who told me my dissertation is not detailed enough. Well whoopty-dee-doo uurrrgghhhh. I’m sleep deprived and my eyes look like puff-puff…..iiii jussstt wannnaaaa sleeepppp. All these work better be worth it.
Anyways hope you guys have enjoyed my rantology, gotta get bk to work in the library plus, my fingers are tired of typing and my phone battery I dying…Sony Ericsson is a disgrace at time.
Have a nice weekend guys

Keep pakurumoing

Deuces

The Evolution of Nonexistent Pata

Hello Good Morning!!!TGIF ,I’ve been awake since 3am and been chilling since but then out of boredom my mind started to wander into all kind of weird directions, including why baboons have pink ass…don’t ask! And then I started wondering if apes would start wearing underwear (stop picturing a baboon in undies) in future like 100 billions years from now where teleporting would be the norm, you know with evolution and technology and all that crap. Well I decided my thoughts were too weird even for me and then it got me thinking about a documentary I saw couple of years ago about the evolution of women’s pata (undergarments, pants, knickers, undies, potato potahtoh) as in how it’s changed over centuries. I don’t know the kind of pata our ancestors wore back in the days, I’m assuming leaves and twines must have played a part until someone cleverly invented pata. Mama Funke likes to touch this subject a lot; I don’t blame her, the number of nasty butt crack we see around these days can’t be mentally healthy bleurrgh. SAY NO TO BUTT CRACK!!

Over the years, the existence of underwear, size-wise oo, has been decreasing and disappearing into extinction and I’m sure in few decades, the pata industry will go into administration cos we probably won’t even be needing any, sorry Miss Victoria’s Secret. Curiosity almost killed the cat, I had to Google the evolution of underwear just to see where the future of my unborn grandkids and their grandkids’ pata lie and what I discovered shocked me mehnn but I’m sure some of you are not oblivious to this.

Naive ladies and nosy gentlemen let me introduce to you the evolution of the C-string. Ok whoever thought of this idea is clearly a genius in the lingerie industry and to be honest my mastermind mind could have thought of it too, but it’s chilling for now. The C-string was invented for ladies that want to get rid of visible pata lines but wait oo wasn’t that partly the role of G-strings or ropes as Mama Funke cleverly christened them. They price range is between £1.99 on e-bay to £31.99 designer brands if you are interested.

Does this mean future Funke the third,  would be wearing a C-string????? eerh NO, eeerh nada, Eeerrh nehh, ehn tufiakwa (God forbid). There must be risks attached to this, imagine someone poking you at a market or whilst you’re dancing in church to tell you your pata just dropped, chaii that would be a classic ‘ground open up and swallow me’ moment. Another risk would be the process of adjusting the almighty wedgie the C-string pata would be thrusting into your backside valley. Risk number 3, how on earth is your man supposed to get this pata off you when things get steamy, some dudes already find taking off a brassiere an enormous task, why add insult to injury abeg have mercy naa.CSMP003 - Sexy Men's Red C String Underwear

If you don’t want your visible pata lines to show then buy seamless pata or simply don’t wear any and enjoy a cool breeze down south instead, it’s not by fire by force oo! I shall be sending this post to future Funke the thirds and fifths to warn them of the danger that lies ahead in and on that not I shall leave you in all peace.

Oh by the way, you curious male cats that want to jump on the C-string hype your are NOT exempt oo, THERE ARE MALE C-STRINGS too oo chaiii!!! *ROFLMAO*

Have a nice weekend mee lovelies!!

Keep pakurumo-ing

Deuces

Distractions…yeh they suck!!!

Ignore the title, my brain was too tired to think of a proper one. It’s been a while…I’m already slacking in this blog-ness I got myself into…shame Funke, I have been more lazier than usual so I don’t really have an excuse. Since this blog is like my diary, I really feel like just talking absolute randomness today so bear with whatever I write as I have nothing specific to blog about.

We are past halfway into February like wow, where are these days and times are running to eh?! I hope you guys are alright though and hope you had a nice Valentine’s Day…even you single bunnies’ lol. I didn’t really do anything interesting either unless you think going to uni to answer questions about a scientific poster is interesting -_-…I’m a bit sceptical about Valantynes day but I won’t go into that, you don’t need a novice like me telling you why the day sucks.

I have become fully nocturnal now as in hardly any sleep and I don’t like it at all, I feel like I’ve been sleeping too much or not enough (yes confused.com) and not getting anything substantial done. I really need to make a timetable or invite my mum to cane me into revision mode or something. And ermmm drumroll please, yaaay our graduation dates are out *eeeek* , I’m really psyched actually coz’ now the pressure is on. Now I just need a way to stop all these distractions, I swear Youtube is the enemy, I’ve just spent over three to four hours watching movies, funny videos and old school Naija tunes like I have no work to do, can you imagine? Sigh!!! I molested the replay button on this old skool banger…the video is still hot, i musy have been like 6 years old lool aaw!!!

Being the introvert that I am, I’m not the most outgoing person but my social life lately in this year has been absolutely shambolic. I don’t communicate with people as much as I used to, some close friends on BB even thought my BBm was inactive because I don’t update as much (allegedly oo), in order words, I’ve been a social GHOST sha. I suppose that was slyly part of my new year resolutions along with going to church and I’m ashamed to say the latter has been an EPIC FAIL, I’m sure God is not impressed!

I’m not trying to ignore anyone, I just really need to concentrate this year because I must graduate by fire by force in few months because I’ve had enough of my course and besides, Mama Funke has already planned out her outfit and gele (head-tie) for the special occasion so I can’t disappoint. I’m not really good at balancing work and play therefore I apologise to anyone that feels ignored by me; it’s not you it’s me.

Time to make some tough changes though, I mastered the art of procrastination when I started university education, now I need to get my ish together and be more productive. I need to break up this my addictive on-going relationship with Youtube and TV streaming website *sob sob*. A new sleeping pattern is pending, I have realised that sleepless nights make me extremely bored and hungry thus leading to many trips to the fridge, which brings me to my final point…

…GYM aargh the bane of my life at the moment. I pay those suckers over £30 per month and I only go like once or twice a week (5 mins walk from my house) lol plus it doesn’t help that my gym buddy/housemate aka Tatenda aka OluwaTat can be very useless and probably the worst motivator when it comes to gym but knows how to convince me to have Nandos’ ¬_¬

 

 

Ok I’m tired of typing and I’m gonna attempt to induce sleep even if I have to count sheep. Have a lovely weekend guys and stay blessed mii lovelies

Keep pakurumo-ing

Deuces

Miss Nesia: Inevitable Step

Hello guys, it’s been awhile now that I’ve had this idea of writing an article relating to relationships, single life, etc. and Funke gladly agreed to put my article on her blog . With Valentine’s day coming up, there’s this buzz for single people to get someone so as not to spend the day alone but what some people fail to realise is that you can have someone right in front of you on valentine’s day for a ‘date’ and still be lonely. If you feel like that will be the case for your ‘valentine’s date’, then you might as well go jam with friends who aren’t doing anything on that day and have fun to the max rather than been stuck somewhere you have to use flat-lines automated responses (‘lol’, ‘ok’, ‘hmn’, ‘really’).

No matter how much you regret an old relationship, be the bigger person and reflect on the time you thought being with that person was the right decision and learn from it to make your next relationship better. It’s very very easy to judge someone but don’t make conclusions until you know what the person has learned from their mistakes. Pains and hurts are often necessary in order to build you up and make you a stronger individual. Without pain, you won’t have experienced the whole chain that leads to happiness and won’t really be able to appreciate when someone comes along to erase all the hurts and pains.

Some people spend all their ‘Single period’ searching for their next link or a partner (neglecting themselves) when they would have benefitted more from focusing on themselves & making themselves right enough in the right places so as to be stable enough to be a reliable partner. Some people are into getting to know their partners friends, etc. quickly into their relationship. It’s better to know your partner on a one-to-one deeper level to solidify the foundations of your relationship before bringing other people into it. Some people out there have the innate ability to crush down a relationship that could have being good, before it even started.

Not everyone you tell about your crush/interest/relationship is really happy for you, some just wanna know so they can cockblock it and before you know it, everything would have flat-lined. There’s no ‘Right couple’, just two people who have invested enough time in developing themselves personally, and are stable enough to support each other and their joint strengths overshadows the individual weaknesses they might have.

P.S – YOU’VE GOTTA KNOW AND LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE EVEN CONSIDERING BEING ABLE TO LOVE SOMEONE ELSE. SELF CONFIDENCE IS THE KEY…

Peace………

Twitter: (@agnesia47)

Junk of the week 1

I have been forever nursing this urge, this desire, this longing, this yearning (lol ok so you get the point) to go to Naija for a while now (Nigeria for you non-naijas). I don’t see myself going there anytime soon though especially not in the country’s current state of turmoil; praying for Naija oo abeg. I think I really miss the food as well lol, if only I could just teleport there, buy suya from dad’s regular mallam, holler at my family and teleport back here. The notion of teleportation could get me killed cos’ they might assume I appeared by juju (voodoo) so until a teleportation device is invented, I shall sit my ass here and face reality.

I forgot to say hi lol so Wazzaaaaaaappp guys??? hope you are all good :). Welcome to JOTW 1 where I shall be unloading the main highlights of this almost-ending week. I wouldn’t say it was the best week ever but all thanks to God still.

Anyways junk of this week

  1. Coursework deadline: I didn’t really understand the immunology coursework plus the calculations put me off but I did my best with help from some colleagues (thanks guysJ). I submitted the coursework a minute before deadline *makes the 1000th mental note to stop leaving coursework till last seconds*
  2. “Window” shopping: (in Pri-marni) and by that I meant window shopping that turned into actual shopping, with my friends. They had some nice stuff but I’m sure I’m not the only person that has noticed how Primark prices have gone cuckoo in the last few year. Came back home with a nice leather bag and a red gilet.
  3. Ostrich burger:eew eew eew, one of my friends bought this and we all had a little taste and eerm I just didn’t feel right eating an ostrich, the poor bird has become part of our diet probably because it cannot fly off, shame! It tasted a bit like fish-beef-chicken all rolled into one! YUCK

    The ostrich burger seller man...notice the board "kangaroo and venison aka deer or antelope burger" chaii, no way mehnn

  4. New laptop yaaaay:*pakurumo-ing” it was about time! It was quite emotional abandoning my old laptop actually because it was my first love and you know what they say about your first love, bye HP :(. I bought a SAMSUNG 300V5A because it was sooo pretty 😀 lol ok it also has a faster processor and bla bla bla but it was love at first sight so kiss kiss.                                                                                              My new lappy and my ex *sobs*

    New love, My ex

    New baby, my ex-baby

  5. Gym..home of dead muscles:  it was supposed to for a  be swim and just so you know, I can’t swim at all so it was my first time and I was super excited and at the same time worried even though OluwaTat reassured me. Thankfully though, there was swimming classes going on at that time so we didn’t have access to the pool and went to work out instead. It was my first time back in a gym since April 2011 so of course my idle muscles were crying in the form of sweat after only 30 minutes! Facepalm lol

    How to truthfully weigh yourself

  6. Cinema: watched “Girl with a Dragon Tattoo” with BSC and it was as good as I expected. Rooney Mara made the emo-gothic-punk-rock-bi or lesbo or whatever look hot, and if I swung both ways then she’s be my type but I don’t :/. And Daniel Craig is hot, just thought I’d throw that in.
  7. My weekend: it was pretty basic. Cooked, TV, slept and attempted to complete another coursework, emphasis on the word “attempted”! Coursework won’t be the death of me

Overall, it was an OK week, could be better but course work comes first, unfortunately. I hope you guys had a good week and if you didn’t, tomorrow is another day.

Keep pakurumo-ing

Toodles

Funke

PS: I really want hot suya

 

Tomorrow is another day

Hola gente (Spanish for hello people for you olodos 😀 ), I’m supposed to be doing my immunology coursework, yaaay so much funnn (¬_¬). It involves lots of calculations and I nonchalantly dropped my mathematical skills after GCSEs thinking I wouldn’t have to use it much but oh nooooo I have not been able to avoid it ever since, resulting in my current state of confusion and boredom. I tried disturbing people I haven’t spoken to in months on BBm but my network has been MIA all day and after curbing the temptation of smashing against the wall several times, I decided to switch it off (damn you t-mobile). I don’t have anything in particular to write about so I shall sit here, stare into space and let my mind wander until I think of something to write or figure out the calculations of the “recovered peripheral blood mononuclear cells”, I really need to stop daydreaming in seminars.  

One episode of The Game and a cup of tea later…

My housemate just came into my room and gave me her sad puppy eyes which could only mean two things 1) either she wants something or 2) she wants to vent out something bothering her. In this case, it was the latter. Now to be completely honest, I’m not the best listener in the world and I’m not saying I’m the worst but blehh I do try. So she talked and I listened to how she misses being young bla bla bla lol she sounded like she was about to turn 40 or something, weirdo. Everything she said made sense though; we’ve just started out journey into the 20s and it started off exciting and that but now we are just discovering how scary it is. In few months, we will be graduating and going into the world *drum roll* and no one is really sure of how their life is going to work out in the future.

                                                                                                            

We all have plan A and the decisions we make now can affect the rest of our lives so I suppose it’s advisable to make a plan. The saying goes “don’t make plan a plan B because it’ll distract you from your plan A”. When we were young, most of our decisions were made by parents or guardians now it feels like we are on our own aaah crap.

Not to sound like I’m having a quarter-life crisis as such but we have reach the age where everyone is sorting out different aspects of their lives. Some are making money doing legit business, some of my age mates have kids and I know a couple of people that are engaged to be married soon and I’m super excited for them. I’m not saying I want a baby at this age or hinting that I wanna get married anytime soon oo in-case Mama Funke is reading this and thinking some guy has been “toasting” me for corner corner (as she says lol). All I’m saying is that time is moving extremely quick and in about 4 years I’ll be receiving more wedding and baby shower invitations (o_O) from my friends although I’m looking forward to that on a sly.

I guess the future is just one of those things we have to take chances at coz I’m getting tired of being anxious over it. If you have a plan, stick to it. If your plan flops hard then try again or move on to greener pastures. It is as simple as that or is it?????? Guess we’ll find out!!

“I reached for the stars but I just kept slippin
On this life mission, never know what’s next” – (Rule – NAS ft Amerie)

Keep pakurumo-ing

Deuces