Hello Good Morning!!!TGIF ,I’ve been awake since 3am and been chilling since but then out of boredom my mind started to wander into all kind of weird directions, including why baboons have pink ass…don’t ask! And then I started wondering if apes would start wearing underwear (stop picturing a baboon in undies) in future like 100 billions years from now where teleporting would be the norm, you know with evolution and technology and all that crap. Well I decided my thoughts were too weird even for me and then it got me thinking about a documentary I saw couple of years ago about the evolution of women’s pata (undergarments, pants, knickers, undies, potato potahtoh) as in how it’s changed over centuries. I don’t know the kind of pata our ancestors wore back in the days, I’m assuming leaves and twines must have played a part until someone cleverly invented pata. Mama Funke likes to touch this subject a lot; I don’t blame her, the number of nasty butt crack we see around these days can’t be mentally healthy bleurrgh. SAY NO TO BUTT CRACK!!
Over the years, the existence of underwear, size-wise oo, has been decreasing and disappearing into extinction and I’m sure in few decades, the pata industry will go into administration cos we probably won’t even be needing any, sorry Miss Victoria’s Secret. Curiosity almost killed the cat, I had to Google the evolution of underwear just to see where the future of my unborn grandkids and their grandkids’ pata lie and what I discovered shocked me mehnn but I’m sure some of you are not oblivious to this.
Naive ladies and nosy gentlemen let me introduce to you the evolution of the C-string. Ok whoever thought of this idea is clearly a genius in the lingerie industry and to be honest my mastermind mind could have thought of it too, but it’s chilling for now. The C-string was invented for ladies that want to get rid of visible pata lines but wait oo wasn’t that partly the role of G-strings or ropes as Mama Funke cleverly christened them. They price range is between £1.99 on e-bay to £31.99 designer brands if you are interested.
Does this mean future Funke the third, would be wearing a C-string????? eerh NO, eeerh nada, Eeerrh nehh, ehn tufiakwa (God forbid). There must be risks attached to this, imagine someone poking you at a market or whilst you’re dancing in church to tell you your pata just dropped, chaii that would be a classic ‘ground open up and swallow me’ moment. Another risk would be the process of adjusting the almighty wedgie the C-string pata would be thrusting into your backside valley. Risk number 3, how on earth is your man supposed to get this pata off you when things get steamy, some dudes already find taking off a brassiere an enormous task, why add insult to injury abeg have mercy naa.
If you don’t want your visible pata lines to show then buy seamless pata or simply don’t wear any and enjoy a cool breeze down south instead, it’s not by fire by force oo! I shall be sending this post to future Funke the thirds and fifths to warn them of the danger that lies ahead in and on that not I shall leave you in all peace.
Oh by the way, you curious male cats that want to jump on the C-string hype your are NOT exempt oo, THERE ARE MALE C-STRINGS too oo chaiii!!! *ROFLMAO*
Have a nice weekend mee lovelies!!